Keep Bleeding Love
This week’s article is brought to you by Dr. Mary Catherine Kennedy. Mary Catherine recently shared her Story with us - I invite you to share your Story as well!
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been reminded of my favorite account from Scripture about Jesus healing the woman with the hemorrhages. Her story is tucked in the middle of an account of the death of Jairus’s daughter, and we hear about it in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke. I think St. Mark’s retelling is my favorite; for once, his account is actually the most descriptive!
In the middle of telling the story of how the Temple official’s young daughter is close to death, we are introduced to this woman who we’re told has been bleeding for 12 years. In Jewish custom, this medical condition makes her ritually unclean which places her on the outskirts of society and forces her to be isolated from those she loves. Can you conceive of being isolated for 12 years? I can only imagine how much despair she must have felt! Even as an introverted person, if “my people” aren’t around me or at least in touch with me over the course of a few hours, I start feeling really sad and despondent! I liken the woman’s feelings to how we might feel getting left “on read” by a friend – but she was left on read for 12 years. Big yikes.
Yet, even in this unimaginable desolation, the woman hears that Jesus is passing through her area and that if she “but touches the tassel of His cloak,” she’ll be made clean. What faith she has! I don’t know about you, but if I had been bleeding for years, separated from those I loved, and depleted of all of my resources from trying (but failing) to get help for my condition, I’d be all out of hope. Checked out, done, and probably not very nice to be around. Yet, this woman has not given up hope! Mustering up the will to act takes a lot of courage: Not only must she break custom by entering the crowded place where Jesus was (we’re told in Mark’s Gospel by one of the disciples that crowds of people are pressing upon them as they make their way to Jairus’s house), she also has to physically touch the Lord. As St. Mark sets up the scene, to be honest it feels pretty hopeless and like our friend, the woman, is going to take another L.
Okay so now let me pull a St. Mark and insert a story within the story: This story will be my own (hello vulnerability – NOT a feeling I like to embrace on the regular). I think the account of the hemorrhaging woman resonates with me personally for a variety of reasons, but primarily, I relate to how this woman feels on a deep level. No, I don’t have a medical condition that has me bleeding out, but I have felt the isolation that she’s felt deep in my core. I took a job in a place where I knew no one because I needed a big girl job. So, I moved and began the grind and uphill battle to achieve the advancement required in my field. Through it all, I have tried to maintain a healthy work-life balance, but it has been far more work than social life, let me tell ya! Because I work as much as I do and because my job is located in a place where the people I work with are dispersed far and wide, I find that I have very few close friends in my new location. The people I am closest to live hours away in different states now (one is even in Alaska!), so I liken the isolation I feel to be like that of this woman. I, like her, yearn for relationship and authenticity, but often find that it is hard to come by in the rat race of today’s world. Add in a worldwide pandemic that forced all of us to limit our social encounters, and well… here we are.
However, it is the hemorrhaging woman’s faith in Jesus that enables her to overcome her anguish and take action in the face of hopelessness. We’re told in St. Mark’s account that as soon as she touched Jesus, “immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.” What’s more, though, is that this woman’s faith was so great that even Jesus immediately “realized that power had gone out from him.” When Jesus questioned who had touched Him, the woman came forward “and, trembling with fear, told Him the whole truth.” Jesus tells her that her faith saved her and sent her on her way, finally freed from her suffering. Wow.
Now, let me tell you a little bit about how this account came to be my favorite Gospel. It’s not that I just resonate with the isolation of the woman: I had a firsthand experience of seeing this story come to life right before my very eyes. Several years ago, while I was at a Holy Hour for college students and young adults, this Gospel account was read and the priest holding the Holy Hour offered a short reflection, too. Growing up Catholic, you hear the Gospels week in and week out at Mass and sort of get used to them. And what started out as a run-of-the-mill ‘listen to this Gospel reflection and try not to get distracted by the million thoughts running through your mind’ mentality I had was quickly vanquished when the priest offered to, before reposing the Blessed Sacrament, allow those of us in attendance who wanted to approach the foot of the altar in prayer and touch the tassel of the humeral veil: Literally, we were invited to “but touch the tassel of His cloak.” (Insert wide-eyed emoji here). I was stunned and felt semi-paralyzed. Could I approach the Lord in this way?
One by one, several people in attendance slowly began approaching the altar, kneeling before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and offering their needs to Him as they clung to the tassels of the humeral veil. Still in shock, I found myself moved to pray for their intercessions. I wasn’t sure yet that I, myself, should approach the Lord in this way because I have a tendency to put my own needs last and not be as assertive as I should (this is something I still struggle with today, to be honest). But, I thought, certainly I could pray along with those who had the courage to approach Him with their needs and implore that whatever consolation they sought be granted. The more I witnessed these people approach the Lord in this way, the more comfortable I became in thinking that maybe, just maybe, I could do it, too.
Slowly, I got up from my pew and approached the altar. Trying to be brave while also making sure not to trip or ungracefully kneel before Him, I grasped the tassels of the veil and, like the woman who felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering, all at once my burdens felt lifted. The doubts I’d had in approaching Him were wiped away; I truly felt at peace. It’s been probably 7 or 8 years since I had this encounter with the Lord, but it is still one of the clearest instances I have had of knowing His love. So much so that every time I hear this Gospel account, I am reminded of this feeling of true peace.
I recount these stories because I feel they are so relatable to us today. Life comes at us fast; we often have a lot to juggle. I mean, look at our current state of affairs: Still riding out the waves of the COVID-19 pandemic, facing uncertain economic times, and living in a world that lacks faith and authenticity in a lot of ways, it would be easy for anyone to fall into hopelessness and despair about the general state of things, let alone what we may each specifically be going through at this particular time in our lives. But if, like this woman or like I did several years ago during that pivotal holy hour, we can muster up the will to take action – imagine what the Lord can do for us! I mean, I have the proof!
But even I get so tied up in my own head that I find myself clamoring for some sign of hope, some tangible instance of His love. I have to remember to take action in my own life when the world becomes too much. Taking action might look a little bit different for each of us depending on where we are in our faith journey. Some obvious ways to act would include making sure to go to Mass or church services on a regular basis (weekly at least; daily if your schedule permits!) Doing this can help soften a heart hardened by cultural forces we might not even realize are having an impact on us. This summer, I’ve had more time to make it to Mass on a daily basis and I can tell a world of difference in how I react to the world around me. We live in a culture that so often sees life as disposable and treats love as if it’s meaningless. By making time to let the Lord enter my life through frequent and consistent worship, it opens me up to letting Him work in and through me even more. For example, my motivation to write this article to share with you came from hearing St. Mark’s version of this story a few weeks ago at a Sunday Mass and St. Matthew’s version earlier this week at Daily Mass. It set into motion thoughts that just bubbled up out of me, screaming to be shared!
Now, how am I coming to share these thoughts with you here at knowHis.love? That came from surrounding myself with good people who want to help me get to Heaven, which is a second tip I have for taking action. Our friends and family have a huge impact on who we are, what we say and, a lot of times, what we do. Find good people who not only love you and want to see you succeed but also will pray with and for you, and ultimately help you achieve Heaven. I think this is one of my main struggles right now in my life, relating back to the isolation I described feeling: In this day and age, it is really difficult to form authentic relationships with others. Because I work a lot and because life comes at me fast, despite my best efforts, I have yet to find the authenticity in relationships in my new place that I so crave. Our friend group especially should be one that lifts us upt when we enter times of sadness and despair: Our friends should serve as tangible reminders of God’s love for us. These types of holy relationships are so good for the soul!
Additionally, if Adoration or quiet reflective time is not a part of your life, make time for it. Our world is loud and boisterous, and we often hear that God speaks to us in the stillness. If we constantly surround ourselves with noise and never take the time to be still, we might be missing out on things the Lord wants to reveal to us. Let that give you a moment of pause: F.O.M.O. on the Lord? I don’t think so! Make time to be still and listen.
Ultimately, I think what it comes down to, for me, is taking time to develop a real relationship with Jesus. He won’t impose Himself on us – I had to make those first steps to the altar on my own – but He desires to be with us every step of the way if we invite Him into our lives. By simply opening ourselves up to relationship with Him (like we would any close friend), we will be provided with a multitude of blessings that will probably make known His love for us even more. Believe me, His love is already there, whether you realize it or not. Tapping into His love and fully trusting in Him is hard and takes time, sure. But when we finally put our faith in Him, like the hemorrhaging woman, we will find true peace.