Stories fill the Void

I’ve heard that nature abhors a vacuum - that, for whatever reason, there seems to be a tendency for something to exist rather than nothing.  This theory apparently originated with Aristotle and has been contested over the centuries by numerous scientists as they use the materials of their day to challenge this age-old dictum.  

I am not a scientist, so I can’t really offer much insight into how these experiments can be accomplished or what insights may be gleaned from them.  I can, however, attempt to speak to the truth behind the idea and show how understanding this phrase can actually help us love better - especially when it seems hardest.  

The vacuum that I want to focus on is not one created in a laboratory, but one that we can find in our own hearts and minds.  This empty space occurs when we experience something and simply do not have a full picture of the event. For example, we may be driving and all of sudden find ourselves passed by someone at wreckless speeds.  This person shifts lanes erratically and they even blow through several red lights.  The vacuum - the empty space within us is really knowing why this person is driving this way.  We can begin to make many assumptions - perhaps the person is inebriated or they simply do not care how reckless their driving may be.  Especially if the experience leaves us feeling frightened or agitated, the vacuum of unknowing can easily be filled with the worst possible explanations for someone else’s behavior.  

This is exactly where the challenge to love our neighbor can truly come into play.  When we don’t know the why behind someone’s actions it can be incredibly easy to try to fill that void with our own assumptions that are usually rooted in something other than charity.  Nature abhors a vacuum - when we don’t have all of the facts or details of a situation, our hearts and minds behind to formulate possible reasons for another’s actions.  Typically, this leads to us feeling agitated as our hearts and minds are predisposed to think that someone else’s inconvenient or seemingly offensive behavior was done out of some malicious intent.  So, when we find ourselves driving and are suddenly cut-off or if someone at work says something out of character, our hearts and minds - not rooted in charity - will begin to fill the void of why did they do that with the worst possible explanation.  We have a strong desire to fill the vacuum of not knowing why, and if our hearts are not formed in a way of love, then that vacuum will only be filled with anger, hatred, and unforgiveness.  

The formation of our hearts and minds matter.  We cannot expect to simply be an expert at loving others if our hearts have become hardened by selfish thoughts that are only concerned with our comfort and satisfaction in life.  In other words, if we truly want to love our neighbor, we have to make sure that our hearts are trained to do so. Loving those around us demands a choice and that choice means that we have to be sensitive to the ways that we may be tempted to not love.  

First - check our inner voice. 

What runs through our minds as soon as someone does something that irritates us?

What an idiot!
What were they thinking?
How could they do that?

Whatever the words may be, we have to be aware of the thoughts racing through our minds as soon as we find ourselves confronted with someone else’s behavior.  The voice in our hearts and minds will shape our ability to love or not love someone as our thoughts become solidified in our outward behavior in response to whatever experience just occurred.  If we’ve trained our interior voice to tell us that every encounter with another person is going to lead to more commitments and greater exhaustion, then we will begin to see others as burdens.  If our inner voice tells us that everyone is trying to attack us, then it is likely that we will assume that every action is a threat against us and respond with equal or greater force in repelling this attack.  

If we want to listen to the voice of our Lord and truly love our neighbor, it is essential that we recognize how consistently or inconsistently our inner voice aligns with His.  Do our thoughts reflect a heart rooted in charity or are they coming from a place of suspicion, anger, or despair.  

Second - we don’t know the whole story.  

Whatever the words of our inner voice may be, it is important to realize that in many cases, we do not know the whole story of why someone may behave a certain way.  If we see someone sitting on the sidewalk with tattered clothes and smelling of alcohol, our hearts and minds may try to fill the vacuum of that person’s story.  We form an opinion of this person without ever speaking with them.  Again, if our hearts are predisposed and formed in a way that wants to see the worst in those around us, we will not leave any room to actually love our neighbor.  

We can combat the temptation to respond to situations in anger or frustration by admitting that we  don’t actually know the full story that led to our encounter with this person.  We don’t know their life story. We don’t know what kind of challenging and awful events may have led a person to where they are in this moment, We don’t know how their hearts have been formed to respond to stress or sadness or grief.  

Admitting that we simply don’t know the whole story can be a great place to start, but we can’t let the vacuum of unknowing simply sit in our minds and hearts.  If we truly want to love our neighbor, it is good (if we have the opportunity) to ask to hear their story.  When we come to know another’s history it makes it so much easier to love them.  Hearing their story can open our eyes and help us see someone in a new light.  Our hearts grow larger as we take in another’s story and realize that the world is bigger than us - more complex than falsely believing that everyone is out to get us or inconvenience us.  

As part of this knowHis.love project, we have shared stories of those that experienced God’s love in a personal way.  I would love to share your story.  If you would be interested in helping us make known the voice of our merciful Father, please do not hesitate to join us in making known His love to all people.