We Are One Body

Loving others is hard.  Sometimes it can feel like it is an impossibility as personality differences, lifestyle choices, and the simple reality that we can’t read each other’s minds can lead to a seemingly insurmountable wall through which love cannot pass.  We can easily become convinced that someone who thinks differently, acts differently, or or poses some kind of existential threat to our person is always at a distance or somewhere in cyberspace.  

This challenging reality, however,  isn’t just reserved for those at a distance from us. Those we live with, those we work with, and even those we like to hang out with can be the greatest source of frustration.  

Why can’t they do it my way?

Why can’t they see what I see?

Why do they have such a hard time understanding me?

We can reach a point of giving up - resigning ourselves to the idea that we will never be heard or seen in a way that captures the fullness of what we hope to communicate.  Now, we lose all sense of patience and instead respond in bitter passive-aggressive words that belittle those around us for not truly understanding the desires of our hearts.  This behavior can become embedded in our hearts - hearts that are meant for vulnerable communication of self and the reception of others - which can become hard as stone, filtering the thoughts, actions, and words of others through a lens of distrust that does nothing but distance ourselves from those who truly desire what is best for us. 

Our warped perceptions of strangers and those closest to us can lead to a downward spiral that convinces us that the love we want to share and receive will always feel inadequate - that the only way to make it through life without feeling the insufficiency of love is to go it alone. 

If I see something that needs to be fixed - I am the only one who can do it.

If I want to see something happen - I am the only person I can rely on. 

If I need to be cared for - better learn how to deal with the pain yourself. 

We can take on the motto -  “Why wait to be disappointed by others?”

Obviously, this line of thinking is incredibly toxic, but the wounds we carry with us so easily distort our capacity to trust and rely on other frail and wounded people.  We can give into the lie of self-sufficiency and believe that we can (and have to) do this all on our own, otherwise it’ll never get done and our needs will never be met. 

In the same way that we can try to be an island unto ourselves for our physical needs, we can face the same temptation for our spiritual needs as well. The disappointment and discouragement we feel when looking at the very visible wounds in the Church leads us to think that we can ignore it all and just focus on my own personal relationship with Jesus. 

While it is true that there is a very real and important personal dimension to our relationship with our Triune God, there is also a very real and important corporate dimension to our relationship with God as well. 

In the early Church, we see this corporate dimension expressed in how those gathered around Christ lived, prayed, and believed: 

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles.  And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts,  praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.  (Acts 2:42-47)

The same imperfections in the giving and receiving of self existed then as they do now, yet we see in Acts an intentional commitment to live by what was true, to do it together, and to do all of this within the context of prayer.  

The epistles in the New Testament affirm this reality as well the authors recognize the very real temptations of isolation and self-sufficiency, and how we can combat against them by looking out for “one another”:

 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Romans 12:9-10

Live in harmony with one another. 

Romans 12:16

Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.

Romans 15:7

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another

Galatians 5:13

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God

Colossians 3:16

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works

Hebrews 10:24

How we believe together is important because the whole sainthood thing is awfully hard to do alone.  In fact, when we look through the centuries at the lives of the saints, we typically see an interconnected web of men and women who spurred one another on in love towards their heavenly homeland.  

Felicity and Perpetua. Cosmos and Damien. Benedict and Scholastica. Ignatius and Francis Xavier. John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila.  Even St. Mary of Egypt, a hermit who was alone for most of her life, ended up having such a tremendous influence on the priest Zosimas, that it led to his eventual canonization as well.  

Sainthood doesn’t happen in a vacuum - it happens in a community.  

This community is messy and full of sinful people, but what families aren’t? The more we try to distance ourselves from others and neglect to make the intentional choice to love them, the harder it will be to enter into the eternal community of God’s love.  We practice for the community of heaven by choosing to love well (especially when it is hard) on earth.  

How have you chosen to love another today? 

The quotes from the epistles above give us a great place to start in choosing to love others well. Everyday, find a way to:

Honor someone

Seek forgiveness and live in harmony with another

Practice hospitality and welcome someone more intimately into your life

Serve someone in need, be kind to someone

Admonish someone in love, encourage someone

Stir up someone to love and good works

Don’t wait. Start choosing to love someone today.  Find your own little network of future saints and begin living for the eternal community of Heaven.